DATE: May 2nd 1998 - Circulation: 1 - Separate issues : 25.7c - Back Issues: Issue 4
The Problem Presents The New Probe Online!!!
Hot News Is Still Hot!
The only two members of The Problem who are still active are AlcoRhythm and Infinity. The rest just sits around all day, doing nothing. As they were too busy to do anything about anything, the Probe Magazine project had to be put on hold. As far as we are concerned, everybody in The Problem is F**KING LAZY and should therefore be KICKED OUT! They didn't even have Amiga's anyway, so who cares...
We can say this, easily, because non of the lazy people who call themselves Problem-members ever take the time to check out the site updates! The previous major update (the completely revised edition of Probe Online two months ago) was not noticed by anyone from withIN The Problem! "Bunch of assholes!" I hear you say? Ermmmm... (Hell yeah! -WEd.)
However, AlcoRhythm and Infinity (the two originators of The Problem) are not sitting back, letting all this happen. Instead there are even more updates and new releases now. The question is: How long will it take the other Problem members (actually it's EX Problem members -WEd.) to find out that the site was updated again...
NEW Mods Online
POSTAGE - More new releases! There are two new The Problem Original Mods that can be downloaded from the Transfer Station (and right here). Both mods have never been released before... The Problem is BACK in the Modules business!
The first of two new releases is called 'Poison'. It is a The Problem Remix of the original track by Praga Khan called 'Injected With A Poison'. Nice and trancy, and a little more speedy than the original.
The second is called Anita. Someone in Australia has a very mean sister who sampled her voice while she was drunk and singing. The sample traveled halfway around the world to The Netherlands, where it got twisted, turned, twirled, bent and converted until it fit in a module. It's a real clubtrance kind of track, with a nice organic bassline and some great bleepy noises!
Online NOW!PACKAGING - More new releases! Finally some new MP3 online. It's two great tracks created by AlcoRhythm using the great YAMAHA CS1x Control Synthesizer and his trusty Amiga running Bars and Pipes Professional.
Planning '98 is a total remake of the old Problem mod called 'Long Term' (which can also be downloaded from the Transfer Station). The new version is completely different however (that is: nothing is original). There's a more up-to-date breakbeat and bassline and it's totally awsome!
Who's Afraid Of Beeps, Beats And Blue is another work of art from AlcoRhythm. This time it's pure Goa/Hard Trance, and it's a real show-off! Lots of beeps and beats fly around in this amazing trip to the high grounds. Play this one as load as possible (as if that only goes for this one -WEd.)!
Both these tracks, and a third one called Spring '98 are also available as MIDI files. You can use these instead of the MP3's if you are lucky enough to own a YAMAHA CS1x Control Synthesizer!
MIRACLELAND - Miracles still happen, be it only in Miracle Land. You will not believe this: Infinity now has his Very Own AMIGA!!! He was already active in the Amiga scene, but up until this moment he never actually owned one!
"I just didn't feel worthy of it. I had to prove to myself (and others) that I was up to owning a real Amiga." an excited Infinity said when he gave up his attempt to strangle this journalist. "I'm still afraid that I'll do something wrong or say the wrong things to it, but all in all I feel that I can take care of this Amiga and give it what it needs." It is unknown where Infinity got his Amiga, but it just happens that Tao reports his Amiga missing. That's not so strange though, since Tao was not using it anymore. Amigas don't take this kind of mistreatment and insult lightly, so it probably just left. Infinity's Amiga can count on a long and good life with The Problem!
ProDUMP UNLEASHED!ALGO - Currently available at the Transfer Station is the second version of ProDUMP! A complete rewrite of the first ever MIDI program by The Problem.
The new ProDUMP features a complete sample editor with lot's of editing funtions and a number of effects. It can load and save samples in IFF, RAW, PCM, WAV and SDS fileformat. It can handle samples in any resolution from 7 to 28 Bits/Sample. There is MIDI support for sending and receiving samples to and from SDS-compatible MIDI samplers. ProDUMP can now also replay samples in any resolution using Amiga-sound. You can find more information about this new program, written by AlcoRhythm, right here!
New Text In Probe
The new and improved Probe Magazine Online has been extended with a few new stories! First there is a complete re-make of the Trip To London story. And this time there is no 'To Be Continued' at the bottom. It's all there, all three parts of it, to a grand total of about 60kB of text (that's like 1400 lines!) Also there is a story called Der Krimi, which deals with some rather stupid German police-men. It's about walki-talkies and warp-holes and bandages and it's incredible. The first part of this story was released in Probe Magazine Issue 1, now it's online... all 8 chapters of it! Both of these stories can also be downloaded in archived form.
We are sad to announce that this site, The Problem's home page, will come to a shocking end shortly. It will be shot before a large live audience, until it is dead. After that, the live audience will also be shot. The dead site will be burried before a large dead audience...
Our trusty server, who has provided us with nice clean web-space has decided to leave. Therefore this site can no longer exist. This site will disappear from the web somewhen near the end of the month of June 1998. We are sorry if you are a fan, and we'd like to thank all of you who visited this site regularly. Cya!
Ofcourse! That's it! We'll look for another server! However, this may take some time. We have to have lot's of webspace and we want it for almost free. So until then... it's byebye to all of you out there!
Infinity's Project Lost In Time And Space
IUGTLSVL To Be Released SoonDELTA QUADRANT - After the amazing accident we had a while ago with a bag of Bugles falling through hyperspace after going through the jumpgate in the Delta Quadrant, we now have something even more bizar to report. One of our pages suddenly disappeared from our site, and was later found (completely destroyed) in a wastebasket somewhere on a planet that has not yet been discovered.
What all this means is that Infinity's project 'Party Review Page' is lost. So when you go to the section Probe on this site, you will find a void where the project's link used to be. Infinity hadn't updated the page (ever) so there's no real big loss... He's now working on an (even) more interesting project: Infinity's Ultimate Guide To Light, Sound, Video and Laser' (IUGTLSVL for insiders) or something catchy like that. It will be the Ultimate Guide To Light, Sound, Video and Laser (as you probably may have guessed). You will find a virtually endless number of links to manufacturers, distributers and dealers of products in this range. It will be a serious attempt to create the most comprehensive collection of links to information about this subject. It is aimed at everyone who is interested in the technology of the entertainment industry.
WS2 Keyboard/WorkstationIncl: MIDI, Sequencer, 128 sounds, 61 fullsize pressure sensitive keys, case, pedals, etc. In good condition. Call +31 (0)543 475746, or E-Mail to AlcoRhythm.
Sign up a new member now, and Tao will update the Top Ten!