Chapter 4: The Sewers
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Gunter distributed real Polizei-issue hankies, that everybody held before their noses as they went into the sewers. A trail of Always soaked with water lead the way. Actually, the Always had so much soaking power, the space around them was not wet at all! When they reached a big pile of shit, Franz suddenly stopped and said: "Hey! That's the ring I swallowed a few days ago!" "YUCK!" said the rest and they continued their way. It must have been a very long way they walked. Kilometres! When suddenly Dereck tripped over a large object. The Polizei-issue flashlight came out of the same place the walki talkis came from and shone in the face of the thing at their feet. Yes, it seemed to have face but it was all covered with shit, stuff, dirt and used Always. A spunge appeared out of nowhere and Gunter started cleaning the object.

"Where do you get all this stuff from?"
"Out of nowhere! No, just kidding, I've got a miniature black hole in my pocket. Warp-Hole stuff you know! It's a German invention, see it has the Siemens logo on it."
"Boy! This stuff really stinks!"
"Ooooow, I agree!" said the object! (!!)
"OH NO!" said the rest! (Except for Theo ofcourse, he said "oh no")
"IT CAN'T BE!" ("it can't be")
"It is..." said Gunter.
"Hi you guys" groaned Heinrich.

Gunter plugged his blow-dryer into a wall socket, and tried to clean up Heinrichs clothes a bit.

"Well, since you are here, I might as well update you on the situation."
"Yes, I agree."
"Okay, we're in the sewers and we're chasing Them, and we haven't got a clue where they're going, but we DO know that they are vicious Always smugglers."
"It really came in handy for Renate, since she has her periods and every...."
"SHUT UP Franz!"
("yeah, shut up")

Gunter put away the blow-dryer and signalled to follow him as he started down the tunnel again. After a while Gunter tripped over something again. "Damned, who's it this time!?" Theo picked up the little box and said "hey, i don't know this..." Dereck looked at the package and whispered "AllDays?" "Spoooooky!" gruwelled Franz. Gunter got up and looked around. There was a whole heap of similar boxes right in front of him. "i wonder what's behind all those boxes" and as he said it, Theo started digging into the boxes. It soon became apperent that these boxes where hiding a door. Laurent from Interpol knew what he had to do, and attacked the door with his displaced shoulder. "WAAAAAAH!" he yelled as he went straight through the door. The rest of the men stepped through the Laurent-from-Interpol-shaped hole in the door and found out that Laurent from Interpol had crashed into a big pile of shiny new AllDays bandages.

Derecks eyes got as big as apples, and he yelled:

"Jesus Christ! It's an AllDays assembly plant!"
"My God! This is waaay over our heads, we should contact Herr Kommisar about this!"
"What's AllDays...?" asked Franz.
"It's one of those new designer bandages. Sucks the stuff right out of you!"

When the hole-shaped police officer freed himself from the pile of boxes, all the brave men got ready for the biggest bust of their carreer...

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Der Krimi by AlcoRhythm/Tao of The Problem
©Copyright 1998 by The Problem.
To order your own Warp Hole, contact Siemens in Germany.