Chapter 8: The Chase
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"Gunter!" Dereck yelled inside the BlowerTank 2124, "the batteries are running low! We gotta hurry dude!"
"Okay, I saw him run that way, let's follow! Full speed ahead!"

The machine rolled out of the building at an amazing speed of at least 25 km/h.

"There he is! Let's get him!" Claus aimed the large Alldays cannon at MS.
"I can't shoot now! What if I hit Renate!?"
"You won't, or I'll kill you!"
"You shoot him yourself then!"
"First get some closer to them!"

The Tank rolled past the helicopter. With its massive tracks, made from the belts of their polizei-issue pants, it rolled over the head of the pilot that didn't rise.

"Our batteries are drained! We're loosing them! Switch to auxilary power!"

The auxilary power unit, located at the back of the tank, was constructed from the batteries from the polizei-issue walki-talkies.

"We're loosing contact! The radar is out. I warned you, you can't use a pocket-calculator's LCD-Display and batteries to build a radar system!"
"No time for discussion now! We got to hurry!"
"Where is he going?! He can't go far on foot!"
"Yeah but we're close to the border. If he get's out of the country we can't do anything to help Renate... we used the pass-ports to attach the auxilary power unit to the tank! Remember!?"
"Wait a minute, I see footprints... there!"
"Okay, follow them!" "They're not moving sir." "No, not the prints! Follow THEM!"

The tank turned a bit and rolled forward in persuit of the Very Big Man and his hostage. Now that radar was out, the polizei team had to trust fully on the skills of the driver. Frankly... they didn't.

"I think he's going to cross the border in the mountains over there! I don't know if the tank will hold on that rough a terrain!" said Gunter, worried,
"Maybe we should ditch the tank and follow on foot!" he added.
"I agree"
"But I want to shoot someone with it first!" said Dereck.
"You already shot the little man that seems to have no name in this story!"
"I know, but I want to shoot one more! Ahhh please let me shoot someone... please!?"
"You freak! Get out of the tank, he's getting away!"
"But why can't I shoot someone... come on... please?"
"You can shoot someone after this is over... now MOVE!"
"Okay, okay, but I still want to shoot someone!"

The men swiftly left the tank and ran into the mountains. Renate and her new aquaintance were already a considerable distance ahead of them... or rather on top of them. The steep road grew even more steep until it reached a level of steepness that no longer qualified as a horizontal direction. Theo dropped himself on the ground in utter exhaustion. So did Laurent from Interpol. Gunter was still going steady and was determined not to stop, until he suddenly heard a big explosion going on behind him. His first thought was ofcourse: "Oh no! An explosion! And I missed it!" Then, behind him, Dereck screamed the scream of complete and total madness: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARH!" Gunter turned around and saw that the tank they had built was now surrounded by an incredible amount of fire and smoke... it blew up. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARH MY TAAAAANNNNKKKKK!!!!" Dereck started running back but was met by Heinrich who stopped him. "I agree Dereck... but it was my tank too, and it's dead now... it was only a tank... get a grip!" "Okay" Dereck said convincingly, "what's next?".

"It seems that we can't go further up this road" said Gunter,
"I don't know how the big guy did it, but it is just too damned steep..."

When the men looked up again, they saw Skaborsky Gigagorovic pulling himself up along a steep wall of rock with his cybernetic arm. His other hand was holding Renate, who was too afraid to scream or move. Within a minute Skaborsky was on top of the ridge. He stood there and looked down at our heroes. "Operation S.U.C.K. WILL succeed, and you WILL die!" He reached for his backpocket and fished out a walki talki. He said something to it, and immediately the polizei heard new noises behind them. "He's called for backup!" said Dereck. Large troops of army-dressed men closed in on them fast. Gunter looked around and saw no way out... This was it... This is the end...

The End.


Well, not quite, because in a dramatic twist to the story, Renate suddenly decided that there was at least one thing she wanted to do before she died. Without any further hesitation she jump off the cliff, leaving Skaborsky baffled. Gunter yelled: "NNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Renate!!!!" He dropped down on his knees and cried out his viances name. Then Heinrich tapped on his shoulders and said: "look..." (which is amazing, isn't it?). Gunter did it and saw Renate falling towards him. But not the way you would expect an everage 'baywatch babe', who has her period and all that, to fall down a cliff. She fell... slowly... "What in heaven's name...?" said Gunter. Renate said exactly the same. "How is that possible!?" All the army-dressed men stopped their movements and watched this strange defeat of natures' laws. Renate giggled "Look! I'm flying!" she exclaimed! Theo looked at Dereck and said "she's wearing Always with wings... see! real wings!" All men except for Gunter heard this, and all of a sudden it became clear. They looked at the large crowd of soldiers around them. All of them had dropped their jaws as well as their weapons in aw. All their faces were aimed at Renate.

"Look!" yelled Dereck all of a sudden with a loud voice,
"It's the holy virgin of the Latvian spiritual clan!"
"It is! It is!" said the soldiers.
"She's come to punish you all for your mishabs!" enthused Dereck.
"She has... She has! We're sorry! We want to live! Mercy be upon us!"
"No mercy! She's here now... it is too late!"

Theo and the others (except for Gunter) immediately picked up on this and started taking away the guns from all the scared soldiers. Some of the soldiers started to scream, others ran away. Some came over to Theo, Claus, Heinrich or Laurent from Interpol and handed over their guns, saying they were sorry. "We're only doing our jobs you know!"

"No Mercy... unless..."
"What!? What!? What!?" yelled the panicing crowd.
"Unless you... RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!!"

Now the whole crowd took off leaving their weapons. Skaborsky Gigagorovic looked at this from above and grew pale, red, and pale again. "STOP! SHOOT THEM! KILL THem YOU... you... hey... come back! COME BACK! AAARG!"

At that moment Renate landed right in front of Gunter, who's eyes were now filled with tears. Renate moved closed to him and gave him a smile. Theo, Dereck, Laurent from Interpol, Claus and Heinrich turned and watched hopefully (they never saw their boss kissing a pretty girl before!). Renate moved closer still and then... BANG! She slapped him right in the face!

"WOW! SLAMMER!" Dereck yelled while he applauded.
"shut up shut up shut up!" squeeked Theo and Claus.
"I agree" added Heinrich.

Gunter didn't hear any of this. His amazement was total... "Wh...W..Why?" "THAT is for telling THEM about my period and all that!" Renate said with an angry look on her face, pointing her finger at Gunter's collegues. "And this...," she said in a sweeter tone of voice, " for rescueing me..."

"what an incredibly nice ending!" said Theo
"I agree" Heinrich agreed.

BANG! BANG! Dereck used one of the soldier's guns and shot Skaborsky Gigagorovic. "Finally I get to shoot someone here!"

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Der Krimi by AlcoRhythm/Tao of The Problem
©Copyright 1998 by The Problem.
Well, okay then... we apologise to the Latvians.